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Who: Bunnycorn
Where: Lepus and Monoceros
When: King’s Year 199, summer
What:

[It’s always a shame to lose one or your hideous abominations of science. They were created not just with long nights and spare parts, but with hopes and dreams. From the “It’s alive!” moment to the first peasant it devours, each monster carries many fond memories of its own uniquely accursed existence.]

[But they’re all dying now; not due to angry mobs or plucky heroes with swords going snickety-snack, but simply poor environmental adaption. You really should have weatherproofed them better. And with Lepus’s primary predators on the decline, a new creature has stepped up to fill the niche: the Lepus lepus, a soft, woobie-eyed bunny with large ears and big feet and sharp, pointy teeth. These days it seems like you can barely walk outside without stepping on one (or two, as there is a reason for their rapid reproduction rate).]

[They’ve invaded the neighboring country of Monoceros as well, but Monoceros has a far greater disaster on their hands. Before they knew it, they had the greatest supply of vinegar in all the land. That’s what happens when all your booze goes bad.]

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[kicks a bunny while storming past, trying to find Mikhail, because the poor boy must be devastated.

Then pries the bunny off his goddamn boot, where it's latched on with its teeth]

For crying out loud...!

[when you do find him, he's in his lab surrounded by shattered instruments and still throwing a tantrum. and anything made of glass that he doesn't particularly need right now]

How am I supposed to work with rabbits!?

I suppose you could fuse a rabbit to another rabbit and make a double rabbit. [offers you the one he's carrying by the scruff, which is squirming and flailing and gnashing and trying to get at him]

It still wouldn't be any good. I was going to have an auction! What would anyone want with a double rabbit, when they could have an aquatic spider jelly or a poisonous craven with harpy plumage!?

[takes the rabbit, anyway]

I suppose there's enough of them I could make a decent coat.

A nice fur coat? It would suit you. Though I can't imagine thinking about that on a day as hot as today.

At this rate we're all going to spend the entire season underground. It's not fair! This stupid heat is ruining everything!

It's really too hot to want to do anything.

[nods and drops the rabbit, (which is okay, the floor is littered with glass, the rabbit's not going to be able to get far) before flopping his head against Umnis's shoulder. he sounds distinctly sulky, as he's mostly finished his tantrum and becoming despondent as things sink in]

All my dolls are going to rot.

[wraps an arm around him, rubbing a hand against his back soothingly] I know. It's dreadful. My poor Mikhail.

[leans against him heavily, wanting all the contact he can get, even in the uncomfortable heat]

And it's not even worth it to keep them as fresh I could with magic... the hellmouth's closed up, Umnis! All those reanimation spells and seals and summonings aren't going to want to work easily, anymore!

What could even cause that-?

I don't know! I'm going to try some sacrifices later, maybe there's not been enough demonic tithes lately, everyone's lazy in the heat!

Can I aid you?

Do tell.

Oh no, I won't tempt the Fates that way.

Valid. Still, it's pretty devastating for a few persons of our acquaintance.

Yes. Although there should be rabbit stew to go around for everyone.

And ground rabbit, sliced rabbit, rabbit skewers, rabbit steak...

Then my next stop should be to the butchers, I suppose.

Perhaps we could make some good of this after all.

We really should.

[gathering more rabbits]

Watch their teeth.

What do you-- ow!

... good advice.

They're vicious little bastards. I can't say I'm a fan.