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Who: Bunnycorn
Where: Lepus and Monoceros
When: King’s Year 199, summer
What:

[It’s always a shame to lose one or your hideous abominations of science. They were created not just with long nights and spare parts, but with hopes and dreams. From the “It’s alive!” moment to the first peasant it devours, each monster carries many fond memories of its own uniquely accursed existence.]

[But they’re all dying now; not due to angry mobs or plucky heroes with swords going snickety-snack, but simply poor environmental adaption. You really should have weatherproofed them better. And with Lepus’s primary predators on the decline, a new creature has stepped up to fill the niche: the Lepus lepus, a soft, woobie-eyed bunny with large ears and big feet and sharp, pointy teeth. These days it seems like you can barely walk outside without stepping on one (or two, as there is a reason for their rapid reproduction rate).]

[They’ve invaded the neighboring country of Monoceros as well, but Monoceros has a far greater disaster on their hands. Before they knew it, they had the greatest supply of vinegar in all the land. That’s what happens when all your booze goes bad.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[wraps an arm around him, rubbing a hand against his back soothingly] I know. It's dreadful. My poor Mikhail.

[leans against him heavily, wanting all the contact he can get, even in the uncomfortable heat]

And it's not even worth it to keep them as fresh I could with magic... the hellmouth's closed up, Umnis! All those reanimation spells and seals and summonings aren't going to want to work easily, anymore!

What could even cause that-?

I don't know! I'm going to try some sacrifices later, maybe there's not been enough demonic tithes lately, everyone's lazy in the heat!

Can I aid you?

[looks up, hopefully]

If you can get me something like a harpy or a human, still breathing. It's not much of a sacrifice if it's already dead. There's always Ange, but I don't know how willing she'll be, for getting me those sorts of materials!

I doubt there's any useful travellers in this weather, but I don't mind having someone from Lepus disappear if you don't mind. Other than that, I'll gladly look for a harpy, certainly. Anything for you, you know.

I don't mind, I don't want you getting torn up over a harpy. Just pick someone I don't know.

Of course. Bringing you a friend would be gauche.

[leans up to kiss him, gratefully]

You're so understanding. And if this doesn't work, maybe I'll throw a party. The volume might help if just one won't do it.

[kisses back, easily]

I do love the way you think.

Just the way I think?

Don't be absurd.

Good. Do you think I should stick to just foreigners and those without invitations? It'd be a shame if no one wanted to come to my parties again, after.

I think if you're plotting a mass murder, best not to do it in a way that those you don't want to alienate start looking for the knife. [kisses him again lightly. ♥ my baby's plotting a mass murder, aww]

[♥ Umnis likes me actively plotting better than the usual casual disregard. things to keep in mind for future reference when he's feeling neglected!]

I'll avoid friends of friends, too, if it will leave enough.

Wouldn't want your social circle to feel... awkward.

I don't want anyone mad at me. It'd be really really annoying if I lost one of my few important people over something like this. Though I suppose it'd just mean they weren't worth it at all, if they couldn't understand!

Not at all. But I'll understand. No matter who you take. [strokes his jawline] So you'll never lose it all. Mikhail.

[wraps his arms loosely around Umnis's waist, and moves so his lips are just brushing Umnis's as he speaks]

Because I'm important, you'll never leave me alone.

[curves them in a wide, wide smile]

I won't, trust me. But you do, don't you?

Yes, completely.

What's the coldest place you can think of around here?

[since Lepus architecture seems to spiral bizarrely down from the surface, into great underground caverns... also this is weird timing, but he's not going to question it after just announcing he trusts you entirely]

The rooms on the lowest level, the heat from surface can't possibly be reaching that far down and staying so ridiculously strong.

[trails a thumb over his lower lip]

Want to go down there?

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