(no subject)

[devilishfiend.insanejournal.com]

Who: Lyvus and visitors
Where: Lyvress
When: Day 295, post-game
What: after game cuddlepile

[Four revived-but-not-completely-healed Corvi and a bitten-but-not-bleeding survived Lynx coming back from the Arena. Everything is terrible and everything hurts, but at least we got memories.]

Comments

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I don't know how to tell... but either way...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Either way, he came out, and asked you that.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...[nods]

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

He hadn't—ever said that before? In your memories?

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

He has... but... he always let it go, because he knew I...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

He was putting your desires above his.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Is that right?

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I... yes...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

And you don't know what to do.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

[nods] I shouldn't even consider...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Why not?

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I've done everything so far... to undo the impact of my life. I remember choosing this... choosing this path, and why.

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

You're wavering. Honestly, I think you always have been.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...I can't... but...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

You could.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

The idea of living...indefinitely, with myself ...is just...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

It won't be easy. I know that.

But—for me, I've found people I want to live with more than I abhor the idea of living with myself.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

... what do I do, what do I do...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Decide that you're allowed to decide.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

But...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

You love him, don't you?

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

[hesitates, then gives a jerky, belated nod]

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Don't let that slip away because you're afraid.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I'm not... a good person to love. I'm a coward and a murderer, and I don't want to exist, and I'm dying, and on every level things aren't suitable...