(no subject)

[devilishfiend.insanejournal.com]

Who: Lyvus and visitors
Where: Lyvress
When: Day 295, post-game
What: after game cuddlepile

[Four revived-but-not-completely-healed Corvi and a bitten-but-not-bleeding survived Lynx coming back from the Arena. Everything is terrible and everything hurts, but at least we got memories.]

Comments

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

And you don't know what to do.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

[nods] I shouldn't even consider...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Why not?

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I've done everything so far... to undo the impact of my life. I remember choosing this... choosing this path, and why.

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

You're wavering. Honestly, I think you always have been.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...I can't... but...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

You could.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

The idea of living...indefinitely, with myself ...is just...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

It won't be easy. I know that.

But—for me, I've found people I want to live with more than I abhor the idea of living with myself.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

... what do I do, what do I do...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Decide that you're allowed to decide.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

But...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

You love him, don't you?

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

[hesitates, then gives a jerky, belated nod]

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Don't let that slip away because you're afraid.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I'm not... a good person to love. I'm a coward and a murderer, and I don't want to exist, and I'm dying, and on every level things aren't suitable...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

So you change the things that are able to be changed, and the rest aren't exactly going to get in the way of a love like that. Believe me.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I don't, I don't know... He doesn't remember very much yet.

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

That sounds like an excuse. Perhaps you should give him credit for knowing what he wants when he wants it.

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

I could be wrong . . .

[but I am Lelouch]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

In one of my memories...

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

Ah . . .?

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

We had betrayed Kairoushuu... the very powerful ninja clan that we worked for, that Yukimi and Kazuho worked for, and we were on the run... we were hiding out in a warehouse and I was ...maybe... a week from death... I passed out, and he slapped my cheeks and told me not to die until he could erase me, like we'd promised, but I was scared. We had nowhere to go, and we'd made the most powerful memories, and I didn't know what to do... I was babbling. And he handed me my hat and all I could see in his eyes was my own reflection.

[zeromemories.insanejournal.com]

. . . Night . . .

[reaches out lightly, tucking Yoi-te's hair back]