(no subject)

[sabra_la_iudex.insanejournal.com]

Who: All the good little anti-entropy engine girls and boys and others
Where: On the way back towards the dorms
When: Day 258, evening, so very shortly after Good Ends
What:

[As the festivities end and it’s time to head back to dorms, there seems to hang an uneasy feeling that has nothing to do with bittersweet goodbyes. The particularly astute may notice an uncomfortable stillness about; not a living thing is out and active, save the Blanks. Even the river seems stilled, as if holding its breath. The more sensitive can probably feel it coming, whatever it is. Even the insensitive may find something about the walk home distasteful.]

Comments

Re: [Everywhere]

[brother_con.insanejournal.com]

...I'm not his real brother, but he'll treat me as one regardless.

Re: [Everywhere]

[hemogobbled.insanejournal.com]

I know that bit.

But what makes you think he's the only one? If Kitten can be your family, so can others. How many fake brothers did you try on before you landed him?

Re: [Everywhere]

[brother_con.insanejournal.com]

I don't like the way you put that. "Try on". I don't like that.

I never interacted with anybody who wasn't either part of the order that trained me or someone I was supposed to kill before I met him.

Re: [Everywhere]

[hemogobbled.insanejournal.com]

Touchy.

So the first person who was nice to you you fell in love with.

Re: [Everywhere]

[brother_con.insanejournal.com]

I'm not trying on Brother. I'm completely serious about staying his sibling.

"Nice" is an understatement. Brother, when he believed I was someone I wasn't, treated me like the sun and the moon and the stars had come down into the palm of his hands.

Re: [Everywhere]

[hemogobbled.insanejournal.com]

It wasn't a serious comment, thus: touchy. It would take a dead man to miss how serious you take your relationship with Kitten.

Does he still treat you like that?

Re: [Everywhere]

[brother_con.insanejournal.com]

...

Things obviously got complicated when he broke free of the brainwashing. He used me. I let myself be used. Because I have a degree of power he wants to control, I let him control me. And even though he's come to love me, it's not the same. It isn't. But... my feelings... which I discovered in that time... they're real. So... It's fine. I'm not... Nunnally. He'll never love me like Nunnally, no matter how much I want to feel that again. But... nobody will love anybody like Brother loves Nunnally. He still... I genuinely do believe in his love. It's just hard that other people can step in... and take priority over me too.

Re: [Everywhere]

[hemogobbled.insanejournal.com]

[soft pettings again]

I don't really believe that your path is as set as you think it is. It seems to me you're experience with humans and a normal life has been too limited to say what will never happen.

But for the record, I'm sure Kitten loves you too. And loves you to love him, because he's greedy that way. But what he wants most is what Sunny can offer him. Not you. Not me. And even if he shies away from putting it in words, his actions make his decisions clear.

But if you're going to be second fiddle, you may as well be the best damn second fiddle you can be.

Re: [Everywhere]

[brother_con.insanejournal.com]

...[sags a little into it again]

I don't know what's set. But if I have something I want, I'm not going to let go of it. That would be foolish...

The best damn second fiddle...?

Re: [Everywhere]

[hemogobbled.insanejournal.com]

Interpret that whatever way you want. Be the best at what he wants you to be, or milk it for all it's worth. Just don't go along half-assed, uncertain, and flip-flopping between the two.

Re: [Everywhere]

[brother_con.insanejournal.com]

Ah ... mm.

[nods]

Thank you, Cobra.

Re: [Everywhere]

[hemogobbled.insanejournal.com]

[scritch]

Good luck~ ♥

Re: [Everywhere]

[brother_con.insanejournal.com]

Thanks.

You can keep doing that if you want.