Game 140

[messagingly.insanejournal.com]

Who: Anyone
Where: The Arena
When: Day 229, noonish
What: [On the throne today is a smiling youth, face ringed by black curls. He has a harp-like instrument in his lap and a pen behind his ear. It's been a while since any have seen him, but, perhaps, to the oldest and most keen observers here, he seems perhaps a touch thinner than last time. The Arena is not terribly decorated for his appearance, indeed, if not for the statue sitting there, one would not be sure this was really a call at all.]


Good afternoon, duckies, good afternoon! Who's ready for some wholesome (and platonic!) self-exploration and completely non-fatal fun, hmm? I know I certainly am.  Yes, I'm sure you've all been having just unbearable amounts of fun, but you know, let's just- . . .


[clears his throat]


Ahem. Sorry, I was saying, let's just slow it down.  Maybe, oh, I don't know, talk about our feelings a while.

((Technically, yes, this is a loser game, but anyone can play.))

Comments

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

So basically thinking "they don't-or-shouldn't-or-may-not-necessarily feel the same way about me as I do about them" is going to get you nowhere, in a situation where your goal is to understand why you're loved.

Well, it's guaranteed not to be exactly the same, but your base assumption should be that your feelings are pretty similar. The next step after that shouldn't just be to appreciate them for their feelings. Accepting that they feel that way and really understanding why and responding to it are two separate things.

Just being resigned to being loved isn't the proper way to deal with it. On Cepheus, everyone's always trying to trick each other into taking care of themselves or cheering up. That's only cause no one feels like the direct approach works...

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

[.........o-omg]









...If I speak directly to Red he just makes faces. I don't think he likes it.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

He makes faces 'cause you're not talking to him from a position of authority. Until you start taking care of yourself in a way that shows you understand his feelings for you, he's always gonna wonder why you aren't thinking of yourself.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

[...]

Do you mean...




Others will not accept my decisions or choices until they believe that I have considered myself in making them?

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

Uhm... maybe. Not exactly. Though you should probably do that. And don't just trick them into thinking you considered yourself, actually do it.

What I mean is... try not to tell people to do something you can't do yourself. When you get on his case about taking care of himself because he takes care of everyone else, consider seriously if you're taking care of yourself the way you want him to take care of himself.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

[ :|a :|a :|a ]



...Okay...

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

But there will still be vacations. Those are important.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

How often are you willing to vacation? Can you tell when you need one? Can you tell when others think you need one? Do you get why they'd ask you to take one?

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

...I asked Red to take one because he is always working hard. He spends all of his time trying to make sure that we are looked after, and no time allowing others to look after him. I don't think that he can answer those questions any better than I can.

By that reasoning, none of us can look after each other, and I am sorry, but I can't accept that result.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

You're forgetting all of you idiots could look after yourselves a bit so everyone else can relax and look after themselves a bit.

Anyway, I also get full privilege to tell people to go take care of themselves cause I have the best track record so far.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

...You can remind him if you would like. The next is nine days from now for a period of two days.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

Let's see you take a vacation first. You can take care of each other after you understand why you have to take care of yourself.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

[>8!!!]

But... I don't...

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

This is why I say you have a thick skull.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

...

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

In a lot of cases, for the people who care about you, taking care of yourself is the equivalent of doing something for them. When you're happy, they're happy. It's a simple concept.

You've seen it in action. When Red's happy, you're happy. So when you're happy, Red's happy. Adjust your base assumption so that you treat yourself more equal to everyone else and you'll get better results.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

...

I will try.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

Normally I'd say "don't just try" but I guess baby steps are important... Right now you don't really need to do things differently, you need to train yourself to think differently... So just start with that.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

Ah... okay...









...Thank you for all of your honesty.

Re: [CEPHEUS]

[fill_the_blanks.insanejournal.com]

[shoulder pats]