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Who: Lyvus and visitors
Where: Lyvress
When: Day 295, post-game
What: after game cuddlepile

[Four revived-but-not-completely-healed Corvi and a bitten-but-not-bleeding survived Lynx coming back from the Arena. Everything is terrible and everything hurts, but at least we got memories.]

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[man it's kinda . . . weird when the doctor is a vampire '-']

[... yeah, this is a terrible idea. definitely need to get that mission out of the way so Persephone can help with the healing things...]

[IT'S USUALLY FINE! I AM STILL DOING A GOOD JOB . . .]

[still keeping an eye on you and will pull you away for nom times if needed 8|]

[yyyyeah let's go to the kitchen to . . . talk. swaying a little, pale]

[yep, taking off jacket as he goes and once in a good spot, sitting/leaning on a counter and wordlessly holding out his arm]

[curling his fingers around Dean's wrist, nails elongating into sharp claws]

[jesus. tensing but other hand is gripping counter to keeeeep himself from reacting in response to hunter instincts]

[huffs a little laugh, bowing his head so he doesn't have to look at him]

[not funny, dude.

just remembering to breathe here]

[I think it's pretty funny]

[pulling back well before Dean would start to get dizzy, taking a steadying breath of his own]

[okay. and. going to get something to wrap his arm in, a little bit sluggish but nothing too bad]

[another deep breath, looking much better]

Thank you.

. . . was Swift what you had wanted to talk about, or—?

[wraaaaapping his arm and not looking at]

Nah, actually... has to do with me.

Let's hear it, then.

... so something I remember before Foreman... s'why I keep saying I'm a ticking timebomb, y'know. And since not telling y'all would make me a goddamned hypocrite...

Gonna start with you here. Figure out how to tell the others...

Yes?

[arms are getting crossed now, very clearly a defensive, nervous posture but what the hell 8(]

Them bringin' home a memory's kinda also why I'm bringing it up. since...

[wait. stopping. starting over]

So, you know my world's... facing down the Apocalypse n'all. Well. I'm gonna remember dealing with angels, demons... maybe Lucifer himself. Either way, got a memory where I was talking with an angel... got his feathers all ruffled and fluffed but good.

Then he came out with the whole showing him respect thing... 'cause since he pulled me... outta Hell. He could throw me back. Down there.

[trying to be. reeeeal casual here]

[just listening, gaze even]

[no no no. that should be all the explanation needed. rubbing at face, stiiiill not looking at]

Any one of 'em... could be it. I mean. When he said that... it wasn't just him trying to psyche me out. It was the truth. And I know I was down there at least long enough that... I shouldn't've been able to been taken out. Shouldn't've been saved.

So I dunno how I'm gonna react. If I get that memory. Think the Judges are fuckin' sadists because I'm sure as hell that my life's shitty enough that what crap I've already remembered is the tip of the iceburg--

[stopping again. this is babbling, huh]

Anyway. Just. So you know. I told Brass as soon as I realized, but. Foreman thing and. Stuff.

So you could essentially be taken out of commission by being forced to relive that.

More than out of commission.

... I was able to recover before. [--snorts] "Recovery", anyway. When I first woke up and had that memory of the Trickster killing me over and over again, Jace had a look-see and... damage is bad. Hell if I know why I'm even...

But yeah.

And I don't think. It'd be a good idea to do things the way people here are used to for fixin' that sorta thing.

I take your meaning. But you were pulled out, weren't you? You were fine after that, theoretically.

...

You're a person in Hell. You've been there long enough, you don't see a way out. Maybe you even stop thinking about one. And then out of every single soul in Hell--and trust me, in my world? Even honest people who say, murdered a person in order to save another--suicidal person who was escaping a bad situation--those types could down there, mixed with all the worst of humanity. And then you've got the demons... and torture... and out of all of those souls, yours is the one the angels choose to save.

How would you feel, knowing that? Knowing that... you and your brother're stuck trying to stop Judgement Day. And even after all that, you're fucking told that the one way to put Lucifer back in his cage is to put your brother in that place.

I'm not fine, Royal. Never was. I just forgot why that was. I was barely holding it together in those few later memories I got--hell, I can even tell I was functioning only because I wasn't fucking sober. Being in this place... probably's seen me be the driest I've been since who the hell knows?

[quiet, turning that over in his head]

. . . well, I imagine I'd be willing to throw over everything for a chance at a wish, if it meant finding a way to save my brother, and the world, if it came to that.