Game 140

[messagingly.insanejournal.com]

Who: Anyone
Where: The Arena
When: Day 229, noonish
What: [On the throne today is a smiling youth, face ringed by black curls. He has a harp-like instrument in his lap and a pen behind his ear. It's been a while since any have seen him, but, perhaps, to the oldest and most keen observers here, he seems perhaps a touch thinner than last time. The Arena is not terribly decorated for his appearance, indeed, if not for the statue sitting there, one would not be sure this was really a call at all.]


Good afternoon, duckies, good afternoon! Who's ready for some wholesome (and platonic!) self-exploration and completely non-fatal fun, hmm? I know I certainly am.  Yes, I'm sure you've all been having just unbearable amounts of fun, but you know, let's just- . . .


[clears his throat]


Ahem. Sorry, I was saying, let's just slow it down.  Maybe, oh, I don't know, talk about our feelings a while.

((Technically, yes, this is a loser game, but anyone can play.))

Comments

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...I worry sometimes that you dislike me or look down on me because of how we met... but I really appreciate the steps you've taken to treat me kindly regardless... and work around with writing and everything else. And you're team. You're team to me even if you do dislike me for it. I just wanted to say that.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

[papercut, then writing on the paper]

I do not look down on you because of your aversion to telepathy.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I appreciate that. I wasn't sure... I know it was ... a mess. When we met. I was a mess. It was a bad first impression. You're generous.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

I require no apologies. If you wish to improve, you must become more confident in yourself.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...in which area...?

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

In all areas.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...

I don't need to improve in all areas.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

[a slight headtilt and shrug indicates amusement]

That is a start.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

[Oh...

Oh.

You're like Bond. I can sass you.]


Yeah.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

Like this, I cannot make you fully understand my culture. For now, deal more in definites.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

I'd like to know, but I can't let you in. I was psychically... [hesitates, trying to pick a word] ...assaulted.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

The attacker's influence remains in your mind?

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

She ... bragged about getting in... and exposing my important secrets... she mocked my pain, and... the feelings behind my existence... [hesitates] I panicked and killed a lot of people... I shut down. I shut down and I killed a lot of people. The only thing in my head was killing until she went away.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

That is all?

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...It was "everything". Our privacy -- the privacy our our pain -- if we don't have that, we have "nothing".

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

"Privacy" divides us and makes us weaker.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

The boundaries of "self" are important. They might be the only space and definition you can have. Being free to tell your secrets, being free to withhold your secrets, that may be the only freedom you can have.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

Then you need a stronger sense of identity.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

...yes... but... it's still true. To a lot of people here, it's true, not just me. Ask around. I respect... that your people... that you do that. But to people who don't, being forced to is... hideous.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

Many Terrans appear to have such simplistic judgment.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

Different isn't simple.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

Neither does different exclude simplicity.

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

No, but it's not simple. It's not easy. It's about... negotiation. Constant... constant negotiation.

Re: [LYNX]

[curebyfire.insanejournal.com]

[She'd look so exasperated if she had a better range of expressions. Just waiting for elaboration.]

Re: [LYNX]

[crossboundaries.insanejournal.com]

[speaking is hard for me ok!]

...because privacy, as a people, is important... who you choose to show things to, who you choose to tell things to, that takes on significance, and there are inherent understandings about it. Secrets... it's not okay to 'steal' them or come by them illegitimately. It's a ...violation. Privacy is about... negotiating the boundaries of what you trust someone enough to tell, not prying when someone you trust or care about doesn't want to tell because sometimes things are too inherently painful to discuss. Learning things without someone's permission is ... a violation. It's an act of defying the other person's ...desires and wills... for your own selfish demands. There are things... in me... I would rather take to the grave... then let the people I love and trust most know. I can tell that that's... anathema? To you. But to us, that border is important. That I could tell Miharu, as I died, "thank you for staying with me and not asking anything" means he respected me... he respected my reasons for not wanting to tell.

I can understand why to someone who reads minds... it might seem primitive? But to me, the opposite, your ability to read everything, your ability to open everything, seems... wrong. I wouldn't want it. I'd never want it.

...I can respect you do. But. ...