(no subject)

[getto_daze.insanejournal.com]

Who: Lightning Rod!11
Where: Lacerta!!11
When: Day 217, Afternoon!!11
What: !!!!1111one

[AFTER CHECKING ON DOLPHINS gosh this sure seems like a good time to go check on his FAAAAAAAAAVORITE LIZARDS--]

[only BAM. One second you see him running head first to their dorm, the next second he's bouncing waaay back into a pile of rocks]

[wat is this trickery \e_e/]

--what the heck was that?!

Comments

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

I do.

You're hurting right now.

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

That's different! You're doing everything you can to lessen it, even now!

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

...

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

The point is that I love you. And so do a lot of other people.

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

[mrrrr]

...I know.

But I don't know what to do anymore. Even in my memories, there was always something that I could do, to support or protect others or move a little closer to granting my wish.

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

Then there has to be something you can do here too. You just haven't found it yet.

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

Maybe.

But until I do, I'm just another burden that everyone must carry.

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

[shakes his head]

Yuuko-san told me once that the only free exchange in life is that of "feelings.'

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

I know. Everything else has a price.

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

Mmm. That means you don't have to pay us back for us loving you. You aren't a burden.

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

But... I cause a lot of worry and trouble. And I don't give anything back for that.

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

Worry is still "feelings."

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

...

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

And really, worry is a lot more selfish than love, when you come down to it.

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

It's not selfish. It comes with caring for others.

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

Then there's no reason why Syaoran can't accept those feelings, right?

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

And if those feelings are hurting others?

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

... is it hurting you?

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

...That others would worry?

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

Yes. Because I don't think we mind the hurt of worrying.

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

It's not that.

I want to give others something other than 'worry'. They said it helps when I 'try hard' but I don't know what that means.

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

It means you're doing the best that you can do, as best you can. Nobody has any right to ask for more than that.

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

They never would.

But I don't know what it is that I am supposed to try so hard at.

[ghostduster.insanejournal.com]

I ... I guess I don't know, honestly.

[pause]

Could you teach me how to use a sword?

[time_andagain.insanejournal.com]

You want to learn it?